05 March 2013

Truth, dare and… Vanessa from babblingbandit.me

I've been reading Vanessa's blog for a while and love her honest writing about her struggles with addiction as well as life as a single parent.  One thing she rarely writes about though is her sexual adventures so today I'm giving her a grilling on Vanessa's craziest ever dare.

I went through a really crazy phase exploring my sexuality after I broke up with my first boyfriend. He and I had lived together for nearly three years. He was my first love and the first bloke to give me an orgasm. After we broke up I finally discovered I could accomplish this on my own. I was 26 and dying to experiment more.
I left my ex in Melbourne and moved back to Sydney and started getting heavily into meeting people through online chat rooms. It was the summer of 2000/01 and I spent a lot of time on my computer with my little 56k dial up modem starting PMs with “ASL?”, meaning age, sex, location (if you didn’t already know). A brief convo would get going and before long sex would become the main topic.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, the online chat moved quickly to meeting some of these guys IRL (In Real Life). I was looking for another boyfriend but got increasingly excited by meeting random strangers off the internet. In retrospect I realise now that I was heading into another deep depression and was getting into some pretty risky behaviour. I was drinking too much and taking a lot of speed and pot too.
One guy I met was into swinging. Before then I didn’t really know much about it except for what I’d seen in movies of middle class married couples throwing their keys in a glass bowl at a dinner party to end the night with a wife swap.
Thinking back I can’t even remember this guy’s name now. He told me about a club in Sydney where you could only enter if you were with a partner and he really wanted me to go along with him. It was $100 per couple. He said he’d pay. I was loaded up on booze and speed and thought, what the fuck. It would be another thing I could say I had done that none of my friends had. I have always been into daring myself into having experiences for experience sake.
I meet this bloke for the first time and I wasn’t into him at all. I still really wanted to go to the club though. We rocked up to this joint on Bourke Street in Darlinghurst. It was a dingy old terraced house. Inside everything was quite dark. We had to go through to a change room. Everyone had to be stripped naked except for a towel. There were strict rules for everyone involved. No touching unless you’d been given express permission by the touchee.
All drinks were included in the price of admission. I remember drinking those little ‘throw down’ stubbies of VB. I looked around the downstairs area and wasn’t that impressed. There was a spa in the back of the room that anyone could use. The guy I was with explained to me a lot of the girls there were prostitutes.
I was pretty nervous but tried to hide it by being amused by it all. Walking around to another dark corner of the room there was a spiral staircase going up. Underneath the staircase there was some BDSM type equipment. I wasn’t interested in that at all. Further up the stairs there was a room that I remember seeing a stack of naked people in having an orgy. The smell, sight and the sounds were intense. It was a seedy sensory overload. I was officially freaked out and wanted to get out of there.
Men were following me everywhere. The guy who took me explained it was because I seemed “real”. Compared to the other girls who were hookers I guess I was real because I was free.
Security was heavy at this place. A guy would just have to get too close and the bouncer was warning them away from me. He must have seen my innocence in such a grotty place and wanted to protect me.
It wasn’t long before I was dressed and back on the street. That was the last I saw of that guy from the chat rooms. I think he felt ripped off because I didn’t shag him.
It was a weird experience but at least I can say I’ve been to a swingers club!

Vanessa’s number one role is as sole parent to her beautiful four year old son. When not playing baddie to her son’s superhero, she is studying for a Bachelor of Arts in Internet Communication, as well as blogging her heart out at babblingbandit.me.
With more than a few issues and a serious case of Overshare Disorder, at babblingbandit.me Vanessa reveals all about her long time battles with those bitches Depression and Anxiety as well as with the ever present Diet Demon, all while maintaining her sobriety from drug and alcohol addiction.
A committed caffeine addict she gets through life on Diet Coke and piccolo lattes.


  1. "The smell, sight and the sounds were intense." - I would have to say the smell would really get me. Having worked at an AV shop, the sights and sounds were common place... but the smell! I mean the smell of sex is excusable when I am having sex only. I couldn't imagine walking into a room with other people's sex smell. Eek!

    Cool experience though, can't say I share it but I do know a couple that swing. The concept is very intriguing but not for me.

  2. My friend got asked if she swings at a job interview. Totally inappropriate!


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